Swag-ger (noun). /’swag-er/

That crazy Sri Lankan, M. I. A., got me thinking, fantasizing… wishing I could dress up in a cheerleader uniform and dance next to Madonna… One of my favorite songs with her is “Swagga like us”.  It’s about how no one on the corner has swagger like her and her friends.

M. I. A. I. Believe. You.

And when she tells me about this, about her swagger being better than mine, I believe every word.  And I think that just proves her point.  When you believe you’re amazing, and then you have the skills to convince everyone else that it’s true— that’s swagger.

I have a feeling people think about this more than we realize. Maybe they don’t think about it in the exact term “swagger”, but the idea is there. It’s an element of seduction, I think.

I asked my associate, Thug Life, what he had to say about swagger. “G’s up, hoes down” was his response. And then he said,

“Swagger is a little new school for an old gangster like me baby.”

Merriam Webster says: (I thought this lacked the positive connotation I associate with swagger, but whatev)

a) arrogant or conceitedly self-assured behavior

b) a self-confident outlook: cockiness

The Urban Dictionary says: (This was my favorite)

Swagger is the confidence exuded as a reflection of one’s dress, shoe game [so true!!!], attitude, and how one handles a situation [RIGHT??!!!].

You can learn how to dress just by jocking my fresh
Jocking jocking my fresh
Jocking jocking my fresh
Follow my steps, it’s the road to success
Where the niggas know you thorough
And the girls say yes
But I can’t teach you my swag
You can pay for school but you can’t buy class
School of hard knocks I’m a grad
And that all-blue Yankee is my graduation cap
–Jay Z////Swagger Like Us

Of all the things I love about that song, I think I like Jay Z singing ” jocking jocking my fresh, jocking jocking my fresh” the best. When they performed it at the 2009 Grammys, M. I. A. was literally about to pop a baby out of her vaj. It was a magical performance. Where was I.  Oh yeah, the song is about how no one has swagger like them. And you know what? I believe them.

Recent swagger moment: John Legend singing about how tonight he’s going to give you the best lovin’ you’ve ever had. And  you know what folks? I believe him, too. Shhhhh gather round, listen.

Striking and unexpected swagger moment: A couple of years ago I was reading Esquire magazine, and I laid eyes on who I believe to be one of the ugliest people on the planet– Arnold Schwarzenegger. I’m sorry, but dude is ugly. But these pictures… really showed the swagger that man has. Because when I saw them, the exact thought that came into my mind was, “Wow, I bet he really knows how to fuck.”


9 thoughts on “Swag-ger (noun). /’swag-er/

  1. I know I’m white, but. . . there have been times when I’ve been thinking about “Stayin Alive” by the BeeGees and walked in time with it, my confidence radiating off of me like in palpable waves. Am I a BeeGees fan? Nope. But is that a song I HAVE to swagger to? Yes it is.

    One thing about confidence I have always said – you can fake it till you make it. The appearance of confidence, if well executed, looks exactly like confidence. How do you think a fat guy like me got girls in high school?

    Fake confidence, that’s right.

  2. I wanna hear from folks about some of the most unexpected times you have sensed someone else’s swagger. Like the Arnold moment. Where you just knew that, if they asked you for it, you’d do whatever it took to please them.

  3. i almost pissed/sharted myself just now. an unexpected swagger moment was at that club. some chick was on the floor of the stage full-on splits humping the ground like she was tapping a keg with her vagina. I stood there in the middle of the cage and watched this woman in complete admiration. if she had looked up at me and told me to eat her shit, I may have done it. I can’t say for sure cause it was dark and loud but i think i saw jesus eyes

  4. Just gotta say that drunk ruins swagger. At bar last week, drunken fool next to me sways on his stool, taps me on shoulder and says, “Were those fries good? My friend wants to know. I’m just asking.” He thought he was smooth for sure. The desired response was, “Those fries were so good that I want to fuck you. My place or yours? Don’t forget the Heinz.”

    • I would’ve demanded honey mustard, myself. Ironically, someone once tried to hit on me with fries too. But I was more pissed because I felt like I was getting the second rate shit, when his swagger told me he could try harder. Do I really look that cheap?

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