Someone’s going to need to be my slut in order to convince me to watch the next season of True Blood.

Sookie is still goddamned retarded, and not in the good way. How is the main character of a show so persistently intensely stupid?

I saw a lot of white ass tonight in the vampire authority’s jail cells. That shit is not okay.

Janina Gavankar has little boobs that strongly resemble my little boobs. I liked my little boobs before, but Janina makes me love them. I feel affirmed by one of the hottest women on earth. That goes a long way. That may be the greatest ‘value add’ of this season to my life.

Alcide wore very little of his shirt. Thank you Alcide.

I’m not a fan of Lafayette’s supernatural powers. I reminisce on the days when he was an innocent drug dealer, prostituting himself out to vampires, calling everybody “hooker”, cynical about life and intolerant of the supernatural bullshit. Where is that Lafayette? I want him back.

I was grateful for the fact that we didn’t have to watch any more of the inbred redneck panther people. They never should’ve been on the show anyways. Nobody likes rednecks. Especially inbred rednecks.

One of those damn faeries in the secret club reminded me of Vanessa Williams in ‘Dance with Me’, but high. That did not help me want to watch the next season.

Bill STILL HAS AWFUL HAIR, one of the cardinal sins a man can commit, but he is also still EXTREMELY FUCKING BORING. And watching him “make love” makes me want to kill myself.

Erik Northman is still the most fuckable blonde guy out there right now. (Besides my husband, of course… ehem). He may be the only reason I tune in next season, and it would then be categorized in my entertainment portfolio as porn.

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4 thoughts on “Someone’s going to need to be my slut in order to convince me to watch the next season of True Blood.

  1. Oh, Janina or should I say Papi…I would watch (on fast forward, mind you) True Blood, just to see this woman in whatever she has on or off her body

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